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 a couples threesome unicorn, hire an escort for a threesome,  somatic sex educator who also loves to entertain fetish, roleplay, couples threesome unicorn fantasies. She is a busty, petite, brunette bookish sex geek with a wicked sense of humor, goddess of pleasure and commander of foot worship in her red stilettos, cute as a button and even comes equipped with a some fancy east coast art college degrees, knows how to get her groove on and get fun-kay on the dance floor. Ms de Vive is available for travel to San Francisco, Portland, Los Angeles, Chicago, Miami, NYC. Boston, DC, as well as internationally to London, Dubai, Sydney, Seville, Tokyo, Hong Kong.

Joy to The Word

Jan 7 2018 The Evolution of Joy: The Final FrontierCategory: Diary of a San Francisco Courtesan     10:11PM   0

@ The World Naked Bike Ride, 2017














“Do you actually like your job?” my non-sex worker (“civilian”) friends would ask when I came out to them as an escort. For the most part I did, but not having an HR department and wearing all the hats in the company was exhausting. The dreaded part of the job was screening the inquires and I learned not to get excited when I got a new message in my inbox. About 90% didn’t read anything on my website or just sent a one-liner, “U avail now?” (Instant delete. I wondered if they sent this to hundreds of email addresses and just waited for a bite. I wondered who would even bother to answer.) 


7% played the back-and-forth messaging game after I would repeat myself in a restrained, professional tone: ”Hello John, I understand you’re very busy this week as you’re on vacation in St Barts…this is just a friendly reminder that I still haven’t received the information I asked for.” Or reminding them for the 3rd time to send in the deposit as I couldn’t hold the date without one. From some inquiries I had to determine who was genuinely confused about what I was asking and who was just playing the back-and-forth time wasting game. Out of that group, I might get one or two clients who just didn’t understand my instructions as most of them had never contacted an escort before. 


Sometimes I felt like Cesar Millan, the famous trainer of out-of-control canines, but I was the master of males; I was The Man Whisperer. My skills got sharper spotting time wasters, predators and the power-game tire kickers who tried to manipulate me. I learned not to spend a second more than I needed on inquiries that drained my energy and let go without regret or fear that I wouldn’t get another client.


3% of inquires were my golden nuggets, my true joy; the ones who gave me all the information I asked for and sent deposit within one email. That was like foreplay before even meeting! Often it was accompanied with a sweet personal note on why they chose me, the cherry on top of the sundae. When I would get those inquires that effortlessly turned into amazing clients, it was a reminder from the Universe to not give up, there were some good men still out there. With all that filtering, I had many clients who saw me regularly.


My Joyous highlights: 


• Traveling to New York City on a gorgeous summer weekend with a client I met previously in San Francisco. He was a widow who was learning to date again after 30 years after his wife passed away the year before. He contacted me 2 years later to tell me my dating coaching really helped and he was now settled in a relationship.


• Almost meeting the notorious billionaire CEO. He had sent me pictures of himself with an email from his company address. I was convinced it was spoofed (I even mocked his messages thinking he was impersonating this guy!) until we spoke on the phone for 45 minutes. My heart was racing but I played it cool. It was him on the phone for sure, but I decided we weren’t a good fit so we didn’t meet in person.


• Meeting clients half my age who didn’t make much money but loved spending time with a confident, experienced woman. I hope I’ve coached to be better lovers when you meet dates on Tinder and I’ve undone some of the porn damage (yes, women have clitorises and learning to communicate about pleasure should come before coming! Then I think to myself, "Maybe I should be producing sex education videos for teens?")


• Many middle-aged married couples who were exploring threesomes for the first time. I was honored to be part of an experience that deepened your bond. You’ve shown me that long-term committed relationships can transform and grow closer over time.


• Soul gazing, crying with many clients and holding each other. I’m honored you showed me your vulnerability. 


• The gorgeous gay male client, married to a man but secretly bisexual and didn’t have sex with another partner besides his husband since college (they’d been married over 20 years.) I hope the experience with me helped you to openly communicate your desires to your partner. I was honored to be the first woman you you sought out in 25 years.


• The client who would eventually become my confidante, friend, then lover for a year, then a close friend. 


• The client who had never seen an escort before me and wanted to see me regularly for over year. We went to Europe together, he fell in love with me and we had to gently let each other go. We remain close friends. 


• Finding my tribe through social media: the fierce, feminist community, the clients and allies of sex workers. I never felt like much a feminist or passionate about sexual freedom and rights until I became Joy. I felt all alone and powerless until I was introduced to this demimonde, then I discovered all these flavors, colors and shapes of sexy who live and thrive in this secret world. I’ve had the chance look closely and question my own internal slut shaming and “Whoraphobia."  I’m evolving each day to let go of that bullshit that takes up valuable space in my head and keeps me small and scared. Living in my own shame closet has been exausting, so I've kicked open the door to let in the light and now I don't fear be being pulled out of closet by a random person. I got this. 




After four transformative years, I’ve graduated from the Girlfriend Experience College of Joie de Vivre and already working on my next chapter. I’m a Certified Sexological Bodyworker (CSB) and intimacy coach. I help men with issues such as ED and individuals who want to become masterful lovers. I help couples ask for what they want in bed, communicate their desires and navigate opening up their marriage or relationships. I’m not going to link my new site as I’d like to keep my past and present worlds separate for now. I’m keeping the website up as my blog has some helpful resources on escort etiquette, open relationships, threesomes and polyamory. 


It’s 2018. It’s time to let go of shame and fear, be proud of your sexuality and fuck what others think. You are love, light and joy.

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