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 a couples threesome unicorn, hire an escort for a threesome,  somatic sex educator who also loves to entertain fetish, roleplay, couples threesome unicorn fantasies. She is a busty, petite, brunette bookish sex geek with a wicked sense of humor, goddess of pleasure and commander of foot worship in her red stilettos, cute as a button and even comes equipped with a some fancy east coast art college degrees, knows how to get her groove on and get fun-kay on the dance floor. Ms de Vive is available for travel to San Francisco, Portland, Los Angeles, Chicago, Miami, NYC. Boston, DC, as well as internationally to London, Dubai, Sydney, Seville, Tokyo, Hong Kong.

Joy to The Word

Sep 25 2014 How to Contact an Escort, Part 2Category: Rants     03:27PM   1

When I debuted my website a few months ago, I wrote a post on how to contact an escort when I started to get the dreaded "time waster" inquiries. My seasoned compadres in the biz explained to me they deal with so many garbage emails from guys that don't read their screening requirements so they just trash them immediately without a response. Imagine if you had to wade through your inbox every day and figure out who’s a legitimate business lead and who's a spammer selling Viagra. 

Why do higher-end (generally lower volume) escorts have a tone like a drill sergeant shouting their rules on their screening info page with bold and CAPPED type and often repeat themselves on other pages? Because they have wearily and politely replied over and over to lame-ass inquiries who obviously haven’t read their website or blatantly disregarded their screening protocol. I imagine these time-wasters probably sent out a general cut-and paste email to try and net the one girl that might make an exception to her own rule. It's like the Nigerian money scammer that just needs to find one sucker believer. I've emailed back and forth with these guys (thinking maybe I'm not being clear enough in my communication) and hear crickets after all that tugging back and forth. A huge waste of time for both of us.

I recently told my “civilian” friend I was an escort, that really I love what I do and that many of my clients have turned into real friendships.

“What's the worst part?” she asked wide-eyed leaning in.

The dredge that makes it truly a “job” for me is the sleuthing, the back-and-forth tugging and teeth-pulling I often have to administer with new inquires to make sure they’re safe as well as we have some compatibility. I try to imagine some of these guys submitting their resumes to a prospective employer with “John Smith” for a name and their experience: “Im a very private person so ill tell u later.. also what does the job pay, what are benefits and where are u located?” 

(I feel my vagina shriveling up and frowning just thinking about the grammatical errors.)

“Do you have a favorite client?” my friend asked. 

I honestly like all of my clients once I get to know them in person, but my favorite inquiries have been from lawyers (not kidding!) They’ve been completely transparent from the get-go. I usually get a business page with their photo (always a plus) with their real name, sometimes writing to me from their business email address. They tell me what they liked about my profile, thier passions and some restaurants we might want to try. I pounce with excitement as they’ve met me more than halfway, which shows confidence and trust (which is pre-foreplay in my book.)

When I feel safe and comfortable with a mutual trust between us, you and I are both happy campers. Isn’t that a win-win on the authentic intimacy front? You’ve just made my vagina smile and drool with excitement. May the screening force be with you!

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