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Joy to The Word

Jul 20 2014 Le Bernardin, My Decadent Mermaid of New YorkCategory: Food Porn     09:43PM   0

Summertime in NYC, the living’s easy and the air is sultry, which means little flowy skirts (with subway vents blowing them skyward), open-toed shoes, more exposed skin = Happy Joy. So much to see in so little time! My sweet host got us front row tickets to see the production of Cabaret. Sipped classic cocktails in the dark and retro Carlyle Hotel. Took in the porno-rific eye-popping Jeff Koons retrospective at The Whitney. Even got in a grueling morning spin class (I would have preferred to rent bikes but at least we didn’t have to dodge traffic.)

My host knows I love fish (I'm a pescetarian) and wanted to impress me with a great meal (he also knows I have high standards and I love a man who’s up for the challenge), so he booked a lunch reservation at Le Bernardin. The 3-star Michelin rated fish-focused restaurant was named “the most popular restaurant in the city by New York Magazine” which also rated Le Bernardin #1 in its annual ranking of the 101 best restaurants in New York City.
We started with drinks. I felt like I should have ordered wine at a fancypants French restaurant but the cocktail list was so creative that I was curious if they could create something to go with their signature seafood dishes. I ordered the CoCo Secoue, a coconut rum (cachaca) based drink that  was so refreshing it reminded me of the best key lime pie I've had in Key West. I told the sommelier it was one of the most interesting cocktails I’ve ever had and would love to get the recipe, and she came back from the kitchen with the ingredients hand written out for me. Serious customer service and attention to detail! For the first course, I ordered the “barely touched” (almost raw, which sounds a little naughty) scallops with brown butter dashi, a flavor that reminded me of rich salted carmel and perfectly complimented the sweetness of the scallop meat. We also ordered the crispy black bass that had a nice lemongrass pepper flavor, and the crispiness of the fish was a good texture balance with the soft wood ear mushrooms. My date ordered the merluza (we were both curious as neither of us had ever tried it.) It was flaky and mild with a delicious sauce (I can’t remember exactly what was in it but everything was perfect.) After the meal I was smiling ear to ear with “mmmmm”s and “fuck oh yeah!”s and had a foodgasm right there at the table (that’s where I moan uncontrollably, throw the fork in the air as I finish the last bite and everyone in the restaurant looks over at me and says, “I’ll have what she’s having!”)

My date told me it would be rude to the waitstaff to not order dessert after a foodgasm. I’ve tried this “just take just a bite” philosophy but I’m a hedonist; hence the spin classes to balance the decadence. Just looking around at other people dessert selections, they all looked works of modern art. I went for The Opera (all about chocolate, coffee ice cream and pralines, can’t go wrong.) We also ordered the Pavlova (I think?) which reminded me of the Indian rose flower scented desserts, but this was more sour and intense. I have to admit, it was hard to concentrate on dessert when the main meal was so inspiring. We rolled home and fell into a deep food coma. After our intense foodgasm, it brought on joy and sweet dreams.

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