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 a couples threesome unicorn, hire an escort for a threesome,  somatic sex educator who also loves to entertain fetish, roleplay, couples threesome unicorn fantasies. She is a busty, petite, brunette bookish sex geek with a wicked sense of humor, goddess of pleasure and commander of foot worship in her red stilettos, cute as a button and even comes equipped with a some fancy east coast art college degrees, knows how to get her groove on and get fun-kay on the dance floor. Ms de Vive is available for travel to San Francisco, Portland, Los Angeles, Chicago, Miami, NYC. Boston, DC, as well as internationally to London, Dubai, Sydney, Seville, Tokyo, Hong Kong.

Joy to The Word

Jan 15 2014 I'm not Mickey D'sCategory: Rants     12:59PM   0

As someone new to the world of advertising my coaching and companionship services, I’m still getting my footing on the how-tos of running the business; following up in a timely manner, looking up references and doing verification, communication to make sure we’re a good fit, prepping and planning the date.

I’ve been introduced to a community of women that have worked in the industry for a while and each of them have a unique flavor to their business that works for them. My mission is providing a real experience (not an act) of sharing my heartfelt joy and sexuality, but I can’t share that part of myself if I can’t get warmed up and connect to the person I’m with. Like a local chef, as I strive to feed you the highest (umami) cuisine with my expertise as well as bring the best experience. In the ‘Slow Food’ movement, it encourages savoring vs stuffing; feeling all of your senses engaged, sated erotically and spiritually.

Fast food joints have their place, we all need to eat and sometimes we’re in a hurry, on the run or have a tight budget. That’s why they’re everywhere and they please the masses. I’ve met escorts whose favorite customers are the ones who dine and leave as fast as possible as their business is based on volume and fast turnover. I was in a cafe that had a sign on the wall, “Please: no reading newspapers, laptop, opening presents at table. Pay and leave when done eating.” They had the most amazing Sunday brunch and there was alway a long line to get in, but the waiters were gruff and the sign always made me feel like I was a burden. They provided good food fast, but the service and overall experience left me with a bad taste.

Last week I got an inquiry from a gentlemen who not only didn’t read my rates, he didn’t seem to read anything about who I was or what I was offering. It was like he had only been to drive-through burger joints and asked me about the dollar menu specials he and wanted it in the next 10 minutes in a to-go bag. After 6 emails going back-and-forth, I patiently explained what I’m about and sent him links to my website offerings and rates. The next day, he called and said he finally read my offerings, but he still didn’t seem to understand and we started to go in circles again.









“Can’t you do just an hour? I usually do 45 minute sessions.” he asked. I guess he thought this was a big compromise to be spending a whole hour with a woman.

My Spidey senses were already tingling, but I decided to give him a chance.

    “Yes, I can do an hour introduction date and we’ll meet for drinks or lunch. I have time on Wednesday afternoon. I don’t have time to plan a full date today, but it will be nice to connect in person and plan something fun for next week.”

   “No, that’s not what I want”, he whined. “I meant I want to meet at your in-call location. I’m really quick and I have time this afternoon.”

I pictured the guy walking into the five-star restaurant The French Laundry (the award-winning cuisine prepared by the finest celebrity chefs is served in 9 small courses over three hours.) He walks in demanding a table (it’s about a 6 month wait for a reservation.) When the maître d' politely declines, he says “Listen, ‘I’ll pay the $300 pricks fix and just get it to-go. Do you have a menu with pictures? I can’t decide if it’s good without pictures. What’s the quickest thing on the menu you can make? I was hungry like an hour ago. I want my prick fixed now!”

Conclusion: if you’re in a hurry and looking for deals with lots more pictures, the internet is a great place to hunt (and I heard they have free porn! Free!) 

If you want a deep sensual experience, connection and real intimacy, I encourage you to be vulnerable and be yourself. I would love to connect and meet that guy. Please peruse the prixe fixe or a la carte menu and tell me what you crave; I look forward to your reservation. 

(movie still courtesy:  "Juno" and her awesome hamburger phone.)

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